Finally Passed!
When was the last time you ever got the same feeling you used to get on your results day back in school? Well, I got one right today when I was at the post office waiting to check if my passport had come there or not. My wait for the Passport took some real ugly turns and I feel quite light from the bottom now. And when I say light from the bottom I really mean light from the bottom, and that's not a figure of speech! my purse feels much lighter than it used to be before applying for a passport.
It all began 25 days back, when I went to the police station for the address verification. I was lighter by 300 there itself. The gentleman over there made me go up and down my house which I believe was unnecessary. Though its just 4 kms from there, yet I felt it was a sheer waste of my otherwise indefatigable energy just to get some documents that even the passport department never asked me to produce. In the process, he also convinced me that he was doing a big favor by accepting my bank account statement for 6 months whereas in reality atleast 1 year bank statement is what was required. 15 days after that I went down to the Passport Office only to stand in a queue that was moving slower than the slowest tortoise in the universe. I made friends with a lot of people standing with me for those three long hours. They made me believe that I was not the only one who had applied for a passport nor was I the only one with “Urgency.” When I finally went inside the officer's room, he very politely asked me "Did you come in the morning?" and I replied him in the negative. The very next moment I was out of the office with my heart touching the dusty floors that get stamped by millions of people daily. While dragging myself out from that office, I came out to the parking lot where in helplessly I tried to get an eye over the notice boards for timings to visit the Passport Officer. To the worst of my horror, I found out that they work only between 10 to 12:30. As in so much for these 2.5 hours, right? One small Office smaller than a bathroom with a waiting place smaller than public school corridors and queues bigger than double the population of China. Now that's some good equation. So much for the Passport Department! Anyway, the next day I made it a point to reach the office at sharp 9 so as to have an edge over other being an early bird. So exactly at 9, I bolted by Pulsar at the main stand right in front of the Office, but unfortunately the queue already had got a lot of early birdies chirping to tell me that you are not the only person being a little smart. Again the double China population queue, again those small corridors and again the small offices and my big fat head! I was waiting for my turn to get through and I not only met intruders but also did I see the rest of the people in the queue bashing them in a language which probably would make my ears pull down the auto-shutter if they had one. Finally I got through after a three hours of wait. I met the PO again and showed him my receipt which was handed over to me by my agent. I guessed he was not in a good mood then and he asked me to go to the Public Relation Officer with an Outward Number from the Commissioners Office. And when it comes to the Commissioners Officer it comes to Police, and when it comes to the Police they mean a lot to the citizens. They themselves have built such a HUMBLE image in front of the entire world that nothing (else) can cause any (more) harm to it. As I entered the cube where the signboard showed Passport Department, I went inside and saw an officer over there. I enquired which would be the best desk to get my outward number for my passport. He guided me to another table and that guy guided me to yet another table and the last point where I was guided informed me that they have stopped issuing Outward numbers to public... yet very decently he asked me to wait outside. I was like waiting outside and getting a feeling of my destiny getting being up for heads or tails where in only I could be the coin. Anyways that guy wanted to make me feel lighter as well and had humble intentions (apparently) of making me lighter by 3000 which I later bargained for 1500. I begged Mercy... I tried to emotionally get hold of him by saying that I did my studies from earn and learn scheme and later was a gold-medalist as well. But the bloke just had one point... "If you are what you say you are, then in any case you'll be going outside and you are a s/w engineer... so it hardly makes a difference, right..." I actually felt like telling him "Yes, I am going there just for your 3000, what else can take me there?" What do they have in that department?? Stone-heart people!!... As in I would have myself cried over my story if I thought about that but that bloke!! Arrrrrghh!! After that, a new day, a new queue, a new officer, the same story with a small twist. I had the outward number now but my papers had not reached the office. Waahaahaaw! So much for the 1500. I went back to the commissioner's office only to find out that the guy was on leave for the week and hence to get the things done I couldn't help getting lighter by a "Gandhi's" weight… (That's what they call it).
Anyway, back to the passport office.. the guy in the new cube was a bit funny.He made me come down to his office for a couple of times and every time I submitted the same application again and again... I scribbled my signature on all the applications (Good that I kept the photocopies of the urgency application). Every time I had to convince him about the importance of the passport for my career. Finally, he called me up on Friday evening at four. As well dressed as I could be with some positive hopes, I went decently to his office only to find his peon rubbing tobacco on his big fat hand with one leg on the waiting bench and with an empty cube inside. I asked him about "Sir" and he said he already left for the day. I somehow knew that was going to happen, but I had decided that this time I would bring my passport with me, no matter what. I sat down next to him, and told him another emotional story, I was also ready to become lighter... and guess what! It worked!! He asked me to follow him to a not-so-public place and showed me the officer. I went to him. He saw me and greeted me with a big smile which actually gave me the freaks! Today he had ample of time to listen to my story, and while he was listening to my story he gave me a receipt book and asked me to fill it up for a small donation. I had only 250 bucks in my wallet. I asked him if hundred would do, and he said no, it starts from 1000, is what he said but since I look different even 500 would do. Not a big deal as in this 500 still sounded a bit decent to me as compared to my earlier encounters.
So it happened and finally they dispatched my passport. Today in the morning as I told you I went to the post office and found out that my passport had come over. They handed over the passport to me and asked me to give me some chai-pani. 50 bucks would have been just fine for the guy who walks to my place for delivering the passport. But this time I myself gave him a hundred bucks. So much for my paasport and my happiness which knew no bounds.
Who said its not easy getting a passport in India? It's as easy as it can be... Look at me, I am feeling so damn light as if I'll fly...
NOTE: This post does not encourage bribery.
This post does not challenge the working of any system.
This post may not contain any authenticated information.
This post may not contain the publisher's personal
(sp. thanks to the beautiful Medha for giving this article the final touch)
It all began 25 days back, when I went to the police station for the address verification. I was lighter by 300 there itself. The gentleman over there made me go up and down my house which I believe was unnecessary. Though its just 4 kms from there, yet I felt it was a sheer waste of my otherwise indefatigable energy just to get some documents that even the passport department never asked me to produce. In the process, he also convinced me that he was doing a big favor by accepting my bank account statement for 6 months whereas in reality atleast 1 year bank statement is what was required. 15 days after that I went down to the Passport Office only to stand in a queue that was moving slower than the slowest tortoise in the universe. I made friends with a lot of people standing with me for those three long hours. They made me believe that I was not the only one who had applied for a passport nor was I the only one with “Urgency.” When I finally went inside the officer's room, he very politely asked me "Did you come in the morning?" and I replied him in the negative. The very next moment I was out of the office with my heart touching the dusty floors that get stamped by millions of people daily. While dragging myself out from that office, I came out to the parking lot where in helplessly I tried to get an eye over the notice boards for timings to visit the Passport Officer. To the worst of my horror, I found out that they work only between 10 to 12:30. As in so much for these 2.5 hours, right? One small Office smaller than a bathroom with a waiting place smaller than public school corridors and queues bigger than double the population of China. Now that's some good equation. So much for the Passport Department! Anyway, the next day I made it a point to reach the office at sharp 9 so as to have an edge over other being an early bird. So exactly at 9, I bolted by Pulsar at the main stand right in front of the Office, but unfortunately the queue already had got a lot of early birdies chirping to tell me that you are not the only person being a little smart. Again the double China population queue, again those small corridors and again the small offices and my big fat head! I was waiting for my turn to get through and I not only met intruders but also did I see the rest of the people in the queue bashing them in a language which probably would make my ears pull down the auto-shutter if they had one. Finally I got through after a three hours of wait. I met the PO again and showed him my receipt which was handed over to me by my agent. I guessed he was not in a good mood then and he asked me to go to the Public Relation Officer with an Outward Number from the Commissioners Office. And when it comes to the Commissioners Officer it comes to Police, and when it comes to the Police they mean a lot to the citizens. They themselves have built such a HUMBLE image in front of the entire world that nothing (else) can cause any (more) harm to it. As I entered the cube where the signboard showed Passport Department, I went inside and saw an officer over there. I enquired which would be the best desk to get my outward number for my passport. He guided me to another table and that guy guided me to yet another table and the last point where I was guided informed me that they have stopped issuing Outward numbers to public... yet very decently he asked me to wait outside. I was like waiting outside and getting a feeling of my destiny getting being up for heads or tails where in only I could be the coin. Anyways that guy wanted to make me feel lighter as well and had humble intentions (apparently) of making me lighter by 3000 which I later bargained for 1500. I begged Mercy... I tried to emotionally get hold of him by saying that I did my studies from earn and learn scheme and later was a gold-medalist as well. But the bloke just had one point... "If you are what you say you are, then in any case you'll be going outside and you are a s/w engineer... so it hardly makes a difference, right..." I actually felt like telling him "Yes, I am going there just for your 3000, what else can take me there?" What do they have in that department?? Stone-heart people!!... As in I would have myself cried over my story if I thought about that but that bloke!! Arrrrrghh!! After that, a new day, a new queue, a new officer, the same story with a small twist. I had the outward number now but my papers had not reached the office. Waahaahaaw! So much for the 1500. I went back to the commissioner's office only to find out that the guy was on leave for the week and hence to get the things done I couldn't help getting lighter by a "Gandhi's" weight… (That's what they call it).
Anyway, back to the passport office.. the guy in the new cube was a bit funny.He made me come down to his office for a couple of times and every time I submitted the same application again and again... I scribbled my signature on all the applications (Good that I kept the photocopies of the urgency application). Every time I had to convince him about the importance of the passport for my career. Finally, he called me up on Friday evening at four. As well dressed as I could be with some positive hopes, I went decently to his office only to find his peon rubbing tobacco on his big fat hand with one leg on the waiting bench and with an empty cube inside. I asked him about "Sir" and he said he already left for the day. I somehow knew that was going to happen, but I had decided that this time I would bring my passport with me, no matter what. I sat down next to him, and told him another emotional story, I was also ready to become lighter... and guess what! It worked!! He asked me to follow him to a not-so-public place and showed me the officer. I went to him. He saw me and greeted me with a big smile which actually gave me the freaks! Today he had ample of time to listen to my story, and while he was listening to my story he gave me a receipt book and asked me to fill it up for a small donation. I had only 250 bucks in my wallet. I asked him if hundred would do, and he said no, it starts from 1000, is what he said but since I look different even 500 would do. Not a big deal as in this 500 still sounded a bit decent to me as compared to my earlier encounters.
So it happened and finally they dispatched my passport. Today in the morning as I told you I went to the post office and found out that my passport had come over. They handed over the passport to me and asked me to give me some chai-pani. 50 bucks would have been just fine for the guy who walks to my place for delivering the passport. But this time I myself gave him a hundred bucks. So much for my paasport and my happiness which knew no bounds.
Who said its not easy getting a passport in India? It's as easy as it can be... Look at me, I am feeling so damn light as if I'll fly...
NOTE: This post does not encourage bribery.
This post does not challenge the working of any system.
This post may not contain any authenticated information.
This post may not contain the publisher's personal
(sp. thanks to the beautiful Medha for giving this article the final touch)
