Forward!!
Ever wonder why….
why the sun
lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
why women can't put on mascara with
their mouth closed?
why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins
Lottery"?
why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
why doctors call what
they do "practice"?
why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows
98?
why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashingliquid
is made with real lemons?
why the man who invests all your money is called a
broker?
why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
who tastes dog food when
it has a "new & improved" flavor?
why they sterilize the needle for
lethal injections?
why they don't make the whole plane out of the material
usedfor the indestructible black box ?
why sheep don't shrink when it
rains?
why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use
while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions:
Use like regular soap."(and that would be how???...)
On some Swanson frozen
dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do notturn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product
will be hotafter heating." (...and you thought????..)
On packaging for a
Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes onbody." (but wouldn't this save me more
time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause
drowsiness."(and...I'm taking this because???.....)
On a Japanese food
processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me
on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains
nuts."(talk about a news flash!)
